Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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