But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
