cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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