Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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