Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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