I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
