man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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