TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
lol hangovers are for mortals.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
