Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Oh god it's open bar.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
