awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
