Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
