just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
my poor anus
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
