sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
