we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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