please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
