spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Houston, we have a blender
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
