i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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