Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
