I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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