No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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