Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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