Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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