It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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