So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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