Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
