i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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