Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
