i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
