Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It's blow job season.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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