ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
