i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
