my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
