she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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