i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
