I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
