How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
