Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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