her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
