if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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