I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
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