Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
