Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
