She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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