Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
