why didn't you poke me back
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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