so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
