I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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