all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
