I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
