so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
