She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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