my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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